Oblivious

Anyone in law enforcement —  heck, anyone who READS about law enforcement – knows how unreliable eyewitnesses are.

Did the killer have brown eyes? Was he this tall? Was he wearing a blue jacket or a red jacket. I’m sorry, ma’am, do you wear glasses? Did you even SEE the killer?

Apparently jurors place a lot of weight on the testimony of eyewitnesses. But memory isn’t like a video recorder. As soon as something happens, we layer on all kinds of emotions and emotions like stress that warp that video we call memory.

And that’s assuming we even noticed something happening.

There’s a famous psychological experiment in which people were asked to pay attention to a video of some people passing a basketball. They focused so hard on that basketball that they failed to notice something much more startling than a basketball. A couple of times during the video, someone dressed in a gorilla suit wanders in, beats his chest, and wanders out. You would think something like that would be hard to miss. You’d be wrong. Almost half missed it.

And, even when scientists told people about the gorilla, so they were primed to know that the whole experiment was about noticing the unexpected, they saw the gorilla, all right, but they missed other unexpected things.

So, the truth is that we stumble through life fairly oblivious.

And, if we miss a gorilla, what else are we missing?

 

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Medicare Demystified

Danielle Roberts says she wishes the country offered a mandatory Medicare class for everyone when they turn 50. It’s that complicated.

If you think you can wait until you’re 65 to start thinking about Medicare, you’re wrong. And even if you’re already on it, there may be a few things you don’t know. But then, why would you? With four parts and 10 supplementals and thousands of options for prescription care…it’s good to talk to an expert. Danielle Roberts helps demystify Medicare.

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Keeping Close, Even When You’re Apart

You can stay connected with your partner, even if you’re not together physically. But there are a few pitfalls: not communicating about how you’re going to blend your families if this isn’t your first relationship, and falling out of intimacy. Dr. Jeannelle Perkins-Muhammad is a marriage and family therapist and she has some tips for keeping intimacy alive. She ought to know – she and her husband have been married for more than 20 years and he’s deployed to another country. She’s sharing a few tips that she’s learned.

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Transitions with Maria Tomas-Keegan

When we think of transitions, we may think about aging, job changes, that kind of thing. But the move from everyday life to a life of quarantine – or even back out of quarantine – involves change too. Transitions expert Maria Tomas-Keegan says any kind of transition is difficult, even the good kind. But she says that during the quarantine, finding creative ways to stay in touch with those who love and support us is key. And afterward, how we frame the changes can make that transition easy or difficult.

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Beauty in Corona?

Is there some way to find meaning, if not beauty, in our quarantine?

A New York Times journalist goes all the way back to the Holocaust for inspiration, citing what Viktor Frankl calls “tragic optimism.” Frankl, a holocaust survivor himself, describes tragic optimism as “the ability to maintain hope and find meaning in life despite its inescapable pain, loss and suffering.”

That tragic optimism wound up affecting how quickly people recovered from the shock of 9/11, whether or not they had lost someone, and it shows up in the difference between people who recover from a trauma and those who develop PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder.

And, we have been traumatized, make no mistake about it. One licensed professional counselor, Jennifer Yaeger, has a widely-shared post on Facebook that talks about how this trauma affects us. We may become numb and shut down or we may become hyper-vigilant (scrubbing down groceries, for example). It’s hard to focus.

It’s time to be gentle on ourselves.

But it’s also time to look for meaning, while we have the time and space for this kind of reflection. Finding meaning, finding the good in this Coronavirus, is what is going to make us resilient. It’s what is going to make us bounce back when we do open back up.

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Music as Self-Care

Music can help with physical, emotional and spiritual health, says guest Bill Protzmann. Protzmann’s mission is to raise awareness of the power of music as self-care.

He holds magna cum laude degrees in piano performance and creative writing, and has led a successful IT consulting practice for more than 30 years.

In 2011, Protzmann launched Music Care Inc, a for-purpose corporation to teach and advocate for practical ways music can be used for your self-care. He was recognized by the National Council for Behavioral Health with an Award of Excellence in 2014 – the industry equivalent of winning an Oscar.

For Protzmann, music saved his life – literally.

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Transformation with Carolyn Rivers

Carolyn Rivers had a successful career in publishing when she felt called to do something else.

That calling became the Sophia Institute in Charleston, SC, a place where teachers and advocates gather to connect and lead on topics of following the feminine, and transformation. In a pre-Corona conversation, Carolyn Rivers talked about how the country is in breakdown mode, but that can ultimately lead to breakthrough.

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Long Living with Lucille

Lucille isn’t around to be the subject of this blog…she died right before she turned 104. But Lucille left a lasting impression on medical CEO Judy Gaman. Judy learned about not just living long, but living well. We might even call it living juicy. It’s all about exercise, blueberries, and remembering joy.

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60 in Coronavirus Times

I turned 60 on the 29th of March. I had planned to make it a big celebration with my husband, daughter and son-in-law and a few hundred others all attending this big Great Gatsby party at a gorgeous mansion in Asheville. I had my flapper dress and fake pearls and bright red lipstick.  I had also planned a bit of self-reflection. After all, it’s a big decade-changer.

Well, then the Coronavirus happened and that big, fancy celebration is postponed until fall when everyone hopes life is somewhat back to normal. My daughter is an Emergency Room nurse, so she is not going to even visit me that weekend, in fears that she’ll infect me now that I am at the advanced age of 60.

When she first mentioned this, I protested that I wasn’t in the high-risk population (this was still when they thought only old people were getting the virus).

“You will be in two weeks,” she told me flatly.

Wait, what?!

NOT how I wanted to spend my big birthday. But you know what? I got some unexpectedly sweet gifts on my birthday and they may never have happened without this quarantine.

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Life Mapping

Life mapping – don’t you wish sometimes you had a GPS for your own life?

Dana V Adams says life mapping can give you that. It’s a personal development tool that helps us become clear on who we are; what brings us joy; and offers a goal plan system structured so you can set yourself up for success. It’s a fairly intimate process – Adams says that, if someone reads your life map, they’ll get who you are as a person.

Life mapping, today on Keep it Juicy!

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