Many of us have problems as we enter mid-life, but mid-life coach Kathy Batista has some great advice for how to enjoy these years – which she says go from 35 – 70. It doesn’t have to involve a blond lover or a flashy car. And, you might be surprised that one piece of advice is straight from The Marvelous Mrs Maisel – tits up!!
Irvine Nugent is an expert on two topics. The first is emotional intelligence. That’s the thing that corporations bury as “soft skills” but they can be the most important skills to bring to a job, or to a relationship. The second is something called Facial Action Coding System or FACS. That’s the ability to read faces and tell what people are really feeling, not what they say they’re feeling. That’s an important talent in today’s world of zoom meetings! Both of those skills may be necessary as we recalibrate in a post-mask world!
Have you connected to your divine feminine? You can, even if you’re not female, because Dr. Debra Muth says the divine feminine is all about exercising the kind of power in which everybody wins. It’s not about ruffles and bows…she’s talking about the power that comes from speaking truth and asking for what you need, especially during sex.
You always hear a certain tennis shoe company urging you to “just do it.” Well, I don’t know about you, but it takes more than an ad slogan to get me moving. Come to find out, there’s a reason for that. In fact, there’s a whole science behind motivation. Susan Fowler, who teaches at the University of San Diego’s Masters of Science in Executive Leadership, discusses the science of motivation and what it has to do with your values and your image of yourself. Spoiler alert…it’s about more than saying “just do it.”
You can stay connected with your partner, even if you’re not together physically. But there are a few pitfalls: not communicating about how you’re going to blend your families if this isn’t your first relationship, and falling out of intimacy. Dr. Jeannelle Perkins-Muhammad is a marriage and family therapist and she has some tips for keeping intimacy alive. She ought to know – she and her husband have been married for more than 20 years and he’s deployed to another country. She’s sharing a few tips that she’s learned.
When we think of transitions, we may think about aging, job changes, that kind of thing. But the move from everyday life to a life of quarantine – or even back out of quarantine – involves change too. Transitions expert Maria Tomas-Keegan says any kind of transition is difficult, even the good kind. But she says that during the quarantine, finding creative ways to stay in touch with those who love and support us is key. And afterward, how we frame the changes can make that transition easy or difficult.
Is there some way to find meaning, if not beauty, in our quarantine?
A New York Times journalist goes all the way back to the Holocaust for inspiration, citing what Viktor Frankl calls “tragic optimism.” Frankl, a holocaust survivor himself, describes tragic optimism as “the ability to maintain hope and find meaning in life despite its inescapable pain, loss and suffering.”
That tragic optimism wound up affecting how quickly people recovered from the shock of 9/11, whether or not they had lost someone, and it shows up in the difference between people who recover from a trauma and those who develop PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder.
And, we have been traumatized, make no mistake about it. One licensed professional counselor, Jennifer Yaeger, has a widely-shared post on Facebook that talks about how this trauma affects us. We may become numb and shut down or we may become hyper-vigilant (scrubbing down groceries, for example). It’s hard to focus.
It’s time to be gentle on ourselves.
But it’s also time to look for meaning, while we have the time and space for this kind of reflection. Finding meaning, finding the good in this Coronavirus, is what is going to make us resilient. It’s what is going to make us bounce back when we do open back up.
Music can help with physical, emotional and spiritual health, says guest Bill Protzmann. Protzmann’s mission is to raise awareness of the power of music as self-care.
He holds magna cum laude degrees in piano performance and creative writing, and has led a successful IT consulting practice for more than 30 years.
In 2011, Protzmann launched Music Care Inc, a for-purpose corporation to teach and advocate for practical ways music can be used for your self-care. He was recognized by the National Council for Behavioral Health with an Award of Excellence in 2014 – the industry equivalent of winning an Oscar.
Lucille isn’t around to be the subject of this blog…she died right before she turned 104. But Lucille left a lasting impression on medical CEO Judy Gaman. Judy learned about not just living long, but living well. We might even call it living juicy. It’s all about exercise, blueberries, and remembering joy.